It is midnight on Friday night. I have had a lovely calm, quiet and relaxing evening. I put my baby down at 6:50pm, and all I’ve done since then is: make my own dinner, play FreeCiv on my baby’s tablet, and watch old episodes of Entourage. At the same time, I’m feeling a bit conflicted. I am on the Atkins diet which has actually been working great for the past 3 weeks. I have lost 5 pounds and I do feel like I am eating healthier than I have in the past 2 years. However, I’m going to tell you what I miss: snacking. I miss going to the fridge or the cupboard and grabbing whatever is there and eating a lot of it.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving, so technically it was a cheat day (who’s on a diet on Thanksgiving, are you kidding me?). I had resolved to take it in stride: don’t overeat like you normally would, just have a little bit of everything and that’s it. Well, I wish I could say I had had better self control. I went completely overboard. By the time dinner was served I was already stuffed: crackers, dip, cheese, crab cakes, I mean, the works. When I finished dinner I literally had to excuse myself from the table to go sit on the couch. I thought I was going to throw up. Did that stop me from having dessert? No way, José. I had a piece of everything for dessert: a brownie, a chocolate-pecan-caramel bar, a slice of chocolate cake à la mode, and something else I’m sure. I overdid it in the worst possible way.
So today I’m feeling guilty. Did I just set myself back several weeks’ worth of effort? Most importantly, what is wrong with me and eating? Why can’t I stop thinking about food?
This whole introspection at midnight after a holiday makes me wish I were a drinker: I feel like I’d be able to handle these existential questions much better if I were drunk right now. At the very least it would make for one hilarious blog post.
I think I’m gonna go get myself some strawberries tomorrow and perhaps make a strawberry-pecan Atkins-friendly cupcake or something. I can’t stop thinking about food, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Ugh. Oh well, at least there’s always sugar-free jello (the secret awesome Atkins-acceptable dessert).
Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone,